A heart's pain. (Poem)

A painful death would hurt lesser
than the devouring feeling pain I have in my heart
when I heard your voice telling this awful thing.
"I have already giving up on us"
WHAT??
I wanted to shout, to break, to rip all apart.
Tear my own ears out,
so I couldn't hear it.
But it was already to late.
My delicate loving beating heart had heard it.

I was paralyzed.
The hourglass had stopped it's doing.
All was suddenly poisoned silent.
The pain, so staggering.
My mind was frozen,
the only thing left was the graving pain and the love.

I saw your sad tears
and heard the true apologies.
But the only thing I heard
was my heart's very hard beating,
like it was trying to escape my body
or jump out and throttle your throat for saying such things!

Don't you love me?
Was the only thing in my heard beside
is this the end?
But the pain revealed something.
It showed me how much i love you!!!
How much I don't want to loose you!!
It showed me clearly that you are my soulmate!

Without you,
I will always be alone..
Without you,
no one can look right through me and see me!!
Without you
just forget it...
I won't even think about it,
it hurts too much...

Sitting here with my pain and love.
Even though the razor-sharp pain is running through my soul
The revelating love is clear than the most crystal clearest water.
I know what my heart wants.
It wants you happy, even though you have with these few words
giving me pain just like death have giving me before.
I would gladly go through everything again and even many times worser
if it still wouldn't change the most best time i had in my life with you.

Forgive me you said.
Souleating tears shoot down on my chicks.
Of course I will! I said and
gave you a binding kiss.
I will....

Still it didn't remove the pain.
The painful wishes,
which see a future with us two.
they see children, a happy family.
All what I ever wanted!!

Why is it gone?
No! I have to fight to the last!!!
So I made you promise,
that you would fight too for us..
And it gave some peace.
Maybe there is a chance.
But do I want to believe it?
If I believe and it got crushed again,
Maybe it would be the final stone,
which would tip my world up side down
and maybe my heart would stop beating.

It is a chance I have to take,
because if I loose you now,
I would be dead,
not physically but mentally.

I'm not a believer,
but still this night right now
I am begging you..
Don't spare my life,
if it won't give my love happiness.
Don't spare it at all..
Let him be happy,
and i will gladly be the most miserable creature of this world.
A creature consumed by hellish darkness,
a creatures who always would hunger for something
and never be satisfied.
if he would be happy.

No comments at all?

Not really no. its a fine peom I guess

Alle har deres mening.

hmmm don't know if i'm liking this poem, or killing cupcake!....

Sagde ikke det var dårligt Liv. det er en fint nok digt

Hahahaha like your comment Nephthys

Og nej jeg sagde heller ikke, at din mening var dårlig Sebastian. Jeg sagde bare, at alle har hver deres mening. Og du udtrykte bare din, which is fine.